1. LeBron James can’t get a ball into his hands soon enough. Never has a guy gone from plus to minus quicker.

2. Tiger Woods’ desease could also strike LeBron. Fooling with that part between the ears is all it takes to move your game off-center.

3. SI’s Peter King is a treasure. He’s been off for most of the summer, due to vacation and World Cup coverage. He’s back now that NFL camps are open, overcoming the unexpected loss of his brother Bob, and again willing to provide beer and coffee reviews from his travels. Hold the Boston-bias, Pete and have a great year.

4. Something tells me Lance Armstrong is finally going to be exposed for the unpleasant person he is behind the hero worship. His is multi-million dollar business based on seven wins and overcoming cancer. Something tells me those yellow bands should really be green.

5. Pete Carroll remains in first place in the phony league with the most support behind him. Everything Seattle is coming up roses from those who are following Pete. The best draft…playoff prospects…the best book “at bookstores now”…nicest guy…not his mess back in LA…even WR Mike Williams is going to the Pro Bowl.

6. Brett Favre will play for the Vikings this year.

7. Why do the Cowboys come out each July as the Super Bowl favorite? The Cowboys are the poster boys of hype. Everything is great in Big D. Except maybe the defense, RBs, WRs and Romo.

8. After all the “insider” speculation on why Bill Cowher hasn’t taken a head coaching job in each of the past two seasons, shocking word that his wife Kaye, passed away from skin cancer. Instead of taking time to watch his daughters play basketball, do you think her illness might have been a factor?

9. You gotta know that something’s wrong with the NFL pay scale, when Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and Drew Brees are in their final contract years and will make less than Sam Bradford.

10. SI’s Gary Smith does it again with a great story about Floyd Little’s quest for the NFL Hall of Fame. Little goes into Canton with first balloters, Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice and alongside Dick LeBeau in August. Smith’s story chronicles Little’s snub and the perserverance of a fan, Tom Mackie, who continued to lobby for the Bronco great’s induction.

11. Pete Sampras has been hired to help lift Roger Federer’s game. Here’s hoping Pete can hit and spin lefthanded.

12. Ilya Kovulchuk’s NHL contract with the Devils is a twist on reporter’s spin from every angle but what counts. Is it Gary Bettman taking a stand? Lou Lamariello cheating? A legal challenge to the player’s association? The undoing of about 10 longterm contracts that already exist? No, it means Kovulchuk will play for the Devils and the stupid loopholes will be closed.

The storm says that ESPN/ABC has Mike Tirico for these types of spots, but he was unavailable because he was in St. Andrews for the British Open. The storm says CBS has Jim Nantz and NBC has Bob Costas and ESPN/ABC have Tirico. Think again storm.

Tirico does have his Syracuse background. And he does have considerable scandalous sexual harrassment mileage in his past. And he has the plumb assignments that Disney/ABC/ESPN want to post up down low against Costas and Nantz. But Mike is a giggling B-lister who tries to coin things he overhears into convincing people they are his thoughts.

For the British Open we have him referring to “keeping long and left,” and darn it, he’s dead set on making us refer to golf’s birthplace as “Sen Andrews,” if it kills him. As if “Luh-ville” and “Norlens” weren’t enough.

Head coach Greg Schiano enters his tenth year at RU armed with five straight bowl appearances (four straight wins), the number one academic progress rate in the nation, and a slew of guys in the NFL, including a first round pick last year and two first round picks this year.

The trouble is that none of the bowl games have been significant, the APR is simply keeping players eligible and graduating on time, and besides 2006, when the Knights fittered away a chance at the BCS, there is very little “signature football” to talk about.

Still, Schiano faces a crossroads of sorts in 2010. Of course, it doesn’t mean his job is on the line. Rutgers rarely fires coaches unless they misbehave, and Schiano’s performance over ten years has been more than exemplary. He has “job for life” written all over him if he wants it. Unless the Rutgers heirarchy starts judging the program like every other major college football team. That’s unlikely because it would take financial influence, powerful alumni and fanbase demand which Rutgers doesn’t have.

So Schiano’s reputation and the prestige of his program will take on an extra amount of scrutiny this year. First, the Big Ten will be watching, and although Rutgers plays in an attractive market, their competitive abilities and the financial/alumni/fans issues may not be up to the standards to be invited to their league, despite how much Joe Paterno and some of his bretheran would like to see a punching bag on their schedules. Secondly, Schiano’s personal cache come January, when the coaching carousel starts spinning, may take a hit with another so-so season and inferior bowl.

It’s laid out right in front of him. A non-conference home game against former mentor Butch Davis’ North Carolina on September 25th could set up a 4-0 mark going into their first Big East test against UCONN at home on October 8th. Two weeks later they are at Pittsburgh. By Halloween they could be making The Sporting News make their appointments to be fitted with dunce caps.

“Oh, oh here she comes. Watch out boy, she’ll eat you up. Oh, oh here she comes, she’s a maneater…”

-Hall and Oates

By Norman Rey

I was going to pass. It seems every time she puts down ink, I have something to say. Perhaps I am developing the same type of bias she’s afflicted with? So I counted to ten and wondered what it is about Selena Roberts that pushes my buttons. And what is it with all the different publicity pictures? It tells me she’s harboring something insecure about her looks. Maybe it’s as simple as not being asked to the prom or being hit with the ugly stick.

It started when she jumped in the backseat with Durham, NC DA Mike Nilfong and a lying alleged whore by the name of Crystal Gail Mangum. Selena Roberts was with the New York Times then and led the way with how privileged lacrosse players were, how Colin Finnerty, Reade Seligman and David Evans, Duke University lacrosse players, were alleged rapists and, in general, how men are pigs. According to Roberts, the Duke boys were like “gang members and career criminals.” Of course, Nilfong was disbarred, Mangum continued her life of petty crime and the three players were found innocent. Roberts never apologized, although her invective contributed to the dismissal of Duke head coach Mike Pressler, the embarrassment of Duke president Richard Brodhead, the cancellation of the 2006 Duke lacrosse season, the stigma attached to the three accused, the departure of several players from the program, embarrasssment to Mike Krzyzewski for bailing out, and continued on this year when Duke won the NCAA lacrosse title with 17 seniors granted extra eligibility by the NCAA as a make up call.

My non admiration for Roberts as a reporter continued when she trespassed into Alex Rodriguez’s gated community and stalked him with a grand stand confrontation about how she had the goods on him about steroids. Her source was the material leaked by someone in the California court system, which to anyone other than a reporter armed with first amendment protection, would have been illegal. This of course, led to the A-Rod affair where he confronted the media, admitted PED usage (“unknowingly”) and caused the guy to fall from his pedestol where he’s paid $25 million a year to play baseball. She’s a maneater.

This past week in Sports Illustrated, her current place of residence, she got two pieces in the book. Must have been vacation week. The first was a feature on Pete Carroll, now in Seattle as head of the Seahawks. The second her semi-regular, “Point After” back-of-the-book essay, complete with ever-changing picture, which is apparently SI’s regular attempt at trying to put lipstick on a….you get what I mean.

For Carroll, she held back. It was a perfect target…golden boy, California sun football coach with two national titles, PAC 10 titles and a who’s who list of star players. Recently, USC got hamered by the NCAA for violations during Carroll’s term. Roberts probably took the story thinking it was easy pickins for her paunchy pounce, but she walked away charmed by the mesmerizing Carroll. The NCAA punished USC’s football team harshly, just months after Carroll, who had turned down yearly attempts by the NFL, took the head coaching job of the Seahawks. The Trojans are appealing a two-year ban on postseason games, the loss of 30 scholarships and the rescinding of 14 wins in 2004 and 2005. Roberts exercised the laziest of reporting to use her allotted words to quote everything Carroll had to say in his defense. “I never, ever thought it would come to this,” Carroll said.

Apparently, Carroll never thought much of what star running back and future Heisman winner Reggie Bush was driving, where he was living or who he was hanging with. Apparently, Carroll is not “hooked up” to insider info in his lockerroom or maybe he would have heard something about some marketing guy providing Bush’s parents with a rent-free house. Although it has nothing to do with the NCAA infractions, he didn’t see anything wrong with Brian Cushing’s training methods or buffness.

Because she wasn’t handed anything investigative, and her skills as a reporter only allow her short periods with her subjects, Selena Roberts couldn’t hatchet this one up, so she chose to write something about a sunshine boy who has moved on to the pros. We needed her back-of-the-book story to get the real her.

If she were man, and her consistent railing were against women, she would be termed a misogynist. Funny, that according to the digital dictionary I quickly consulted, there isn’t a common word for women who hate men. One attempt was “feminist” but I don’t think someone who is concerned with feminine issues necessarily hates men. The best academic application was the noun “misandry” (hatred of men) but I’ve never heard or seen this word used commonly in the mainstream. Where have the word people been for thousands of years and not have developed a word for “manhater?” Is Selena Roberts a “misandrist?” Try looking that one up. Even Google grabs his nads when that word is typed in.

So Selena finishes up the June 26th issue of SI with her opinions on who is “Good Enough To be Great?” In her opinion, Tiger Woods is not deserving of surpassing Jack Nicklaus and Barry Bonds (I guess A-Rod wasn’t convenient) isn’t worthy of lording over Hank Aaron. Now, I guess Selena’s reasoning with Tiger is that men that stray aren’t deserving of honor. I guess that kicks out Martin Luther King, John Kennedy and several thousand others (including women) throughout history. I for one, feel better that Selena Roberts is the arbiter recognizing such faults in men. Maybe she could compile a book about it, something like the A-Rod book, print 150,000 and sell less than 10,000.

Her position on Bonds, although contrived, tired, overdone and well on the books by just about every other writer with an opinion, begs the question, “why this subject, now?” We all know Bonds was a user and that his stats were effected. Apparently, that’s not enough for Selena the misandrist. She needs to lock down the tarnished, remind us to punish and hate and make certain these guys never make us smile. Kind of like her pictures.

It’s a New York Knicks leaning roster, not geared for the Nets pursuit of LeBron, likely influenced by James Dolan and his minions, and its another in a cascade of recruiting efforts that make adults look like children. Let’s review the NYC “A Team” and make suggestions of where they could have done better.

THE JOCKS-

Ex-Knicks Clyde Frazier and Willis Reed head this list followed by Phil Simms, Boomer Esiason, Mark Messier and John McEnroe.

Walt “Clyde” Frazier is a Knick employee, who couldn’t get work anywhere else, but he won a championship on the same floor LeBron would play on. He’s a hall-of-famer and true Knick legend and he revolutionized the point guard position with his leadership, defense, unselfishness, passing and team play. He was traded to Cleveland (so he knows the difference), and he’s an African-American (AA for short) basketball player. It’s likely LeBron doesn’t even know about him, because Frazier retired in 1980, four years before LeBron was born.

Our suggestion: Kareem Abdul Jabbar

Why not have LeBron talk to someone who did everything and more than Clyde Frazier, but also grew up in the city, was chased by real fame since high school, can quote John Wooden about winning, made a mid-career move that was championship-to-championship, played with superstars in his supporting cast, and can wax philosophic about having it all and then letting it slip through his fingers?

The same holds true for Willis Reed, a New York hero and warrior, but a guy who has been slapped around by the Knicks as much as he has been embraced. If there were a team in need of a front office official and willing to go with one past his prime, Willis would be working out-of-town. Now, he’d pretty much do anything for anyone, including shill for the Knicks.

Our suggestion: Phil Jackson

Why not talk to a guy with a deep fondness for everything New York stands for despite having made his bones in Chicago and Los Angeles? An intelligent point of view from outside, with wisps of insights involving Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, would be more valuable to LeBron, than replaying how Knick fans are the best and they will cheer for you if you play hurt.

John McEnroe is known as a brat and a spoiled and pampered tennis player who made most of his bones playing outside New York in a game where he only cared about one thing, himself. What kind of insight can McEnroe provide? “I was on top once, and New York was the best place of over 50 places to win a tournament? Or, my boys in Queens would really like if you came. The train from there runs right under Madison Square Garden.” Or how about, ‘take it from me, a guy who grew up with a dad on Wall Street, who had to go to private school and then pay thousands a year for tennis lessons. If I don’t relate to life in Akron, nobody does. And, I can tell you what it’s like to be married to a drug-addled, won-an-Oscar-way-too-soon celebrity or a C-list rock star. Come on, make my season tickets worth something.’

Our suggestion: Bill Bradley

Why not an Ivy-league, Rhodes Scholar, former Knick and U.S. Senator who now works for Allen and Company, one of the biggest deal makers in Hollywood, not to mention the rest of the investment banking community? Real advice is what you are after. Don’t you think Bradley could turn him on to a few guys with ideas?

If Boomer Esiason is an influence then Phil Simms is a hall of fame quarterback. Boomer is a boob, who would bully you at a bar, if he’s surrounded by his fawning friends. LeBron IS a star, not a mediocre and semi-accomplished player who thinks he’s a star. What’s Boomer going to push? The delights of Long Island sans the Hamptons? This guy puts his foot in his mouth daily on radio, on his local TV sports shows and as a national broadcaster that won’t last. I’d keep him miles away from LeBron. Just what he needs to see and hear, the Aryan race telling him what’s cool in New York.

Simms doesn’t fall far from Boomer as far as being Aryan, but maybe one of LeBron’s kids will be a quarterback and Simms can tutor and lobby the boy’s way into high school, college and as a high-paid back-up in the pros. There is that. And there may be a connection to North Jersey, although affluent AA’s tend to prefer Alpine, not the Franklin Lakes area. When all is said and done what’s redneck Phil got to say to influence LeBron? “Do you like pick up trucks? Have I got a dealer for you.”

Our suggestions: Joe Namath and Eddie Murphy

Joe Namath is the only quarterback to talk to about New York. He won a Super Bowl, he wore that fur coat. He had a place called “Bachelor’s Three.” He knew how to party and be the toast of the town. He was on Ed Sullivan and he knew how to walk the street and deal with it. LeBron could use a Namath lesson. If the King weren’t attached, he’d need it even more. Eddie Murphy may not be a sportsguy, but he is a New York guy who travelled the boroughs and tri-state before he hit superstardom and ended up in Alpine, NJ. This fellow could tutor LeBron humorously. Even though Ed is West Coast now, you can’t take the Hudson out of the nephew. He has perspective also, having gone from Top Box office to Donkey voices, but he knows entourages and bodyguards and can be a helpful influence.

Now Mark Messier may actually have a case. He was a superstar who came to town and led a New York Rangers team to a championship after a 40-year drought. There’s a conversation there, something to expand on. But Mess was a hockey player and those guys mostly live in anonymity. In New York at least, Messier dispelled that. But after all is said and done “Moose” is just another Dolan employee. Credibility lost.

Our suggestion: Jason Taylor

It may be too early to offer deep insight on New York, but Taylor is a University of Akron grad, a former six-time pro bowler and once a NFL player of the year. His “home boy” perspective would be more welcomed than a Dolan lackey. Taylor had to weigh some of the very things LeBron has on his check list before signing with the Jets. New York advantages over Akron/Cleveland are especially welcome here.

SHOW/BUSINESS

Where does Chris Rock come off as an influence besides as a guy who has currently surpassed Murphy as the funniest AA? He’s a New Yorker and I guess, he’s a Knick fan, but I never knew it. Something that smells of “bandwagon” here. Nothing Rock has done has been earth shattering. His stand up rocks, but none of his movies has even made the B-list. Why have a career underachiever talking to a career underachiever? If money were the measuring stick, which it is in this case, LeBron already has it. So what can Rock do? Make him giggle?

Our suggestion: Derek Jeter

They could both wear their Yankee hats to the meeting. And the conversation could be about example, class, character and how to handle yourself at all times. Jeter would have an answer to every question LeBron struggles with when it comes to “how to deal with it.” The remainder of the conversation would be devoted to legacy, how to play a career that will be remembered and revered. Jeter may not qualify as show business, but he plays in “the show” and he’s rumored to be marrying an actress.

Why anyone would pick Charlie Rose to influence LeBron is beyond me. The only reason people talk to him is by the advice of handlers who want to project a small-audience, but academic and intelligent point of view. Do we need to think leBron is smart for us to welcome him to New York? Heck no. And how are we ever going to find out about LeBron with Charlie butting in all the time? Maybe this would have more to do with how to convert casual profession relationships into a social life like Charlie does, like when he picks someone to interview who is due for induction into the Rock and roll Hall of Fame and then somehow ends up sitting in the first rows at the induction. LeBron, Chuck Scarborough married a daughter of Henry Ford. You’ll meet far more interesting and helpful people hanging out with them.

Our Suggestion: David Letterman

If you want a TV guy, Letterman is your boy. He makes over $30 million a year, likes sports (just ask him to bring along Bill Scheft) and despite his self-deprecation, he’s pretty much appreciated and loved by the entertainment industry. He has a good track record for picking bad guys as enemies (a good lesson for you to learn) and he’s funny. Just don’t expect to hang out, or find a bubbling personality off camera. He’s the product of low self esteem, therapy and acute negativity. Talk kids and what its like to be famous in New York.

Tracy Morgan is a poor selection. Typical Knicks. No one knows which wall this guy is going to bounce off. He likes girls, partying and getting high. His fame is fleeting, nowhere to SNL to nowhere, to a star on ’60 Rock’ and a bunch of crude one-dimensional movie roles. Why not Mike Tyson? I don’t think LeBron would be impressed by Morgan’s half hour routine of dick jokes, the professional comic’s easiest sign of lazy, mail-it-in, comedy writing. So what are they thinking, LeBron needs some connections to the seedy side and lessons in how to be lazy, not reach your potential and always come up short?

Our suggestion: Howard Stern

If its a strong point of view of how AA life is in New York how about Howard telling some of his stories from Roosevelt High? If its blunt truth you are trying to get across, there’s no one better than Howard. He has real insight on dozens of aspects of LeBron’s possible challenges in New York: money, popularity, criticism, enemies, credible work ethic, challenges to get to the top…and so on.

We guess that putting Donny Deutsch on the list is an attempt to flag LeBron’s marketing desires. Deutsch is a cable TV personality and an entrepreneur who first was successful in advertising. Not a bad angle here, Dolan, but George Lois sitting on your baseline would be a better source of marketing and Knick history. A lifelong season ticket holder, Lois is famous from when Esquire Magazine was famous. So we’ll suggest someone more contemporary. Meanwhile, Deutsch may have some ideas, but how are they going to mesh with Team LeBron and the Nike people?

Our suggestion: Brad Grey

The current President of Paramount may not be available, although he’s a native New Yorker living in LA, but that hasn’t stopped him from garnering independent acclaim while working for Sumner Redstone. If not Grey, then Ari Emanuel, et al, you get the idea. Hollywood deal makers have long ago crossed over to advertising and product placements and a current trend is for Tinsel agencies to buy up sports agencies.

Whoopie Goldberg must be an attempt to have a woman on the list and an AA woman is even better. But what pull does she have? The girls on “The View” will give LeBron their approval? Whoopie at this stage of her career is mostly known for grabbing any gig that pays. That’s certainly not what LeBron needs. Oprah might work, but she’s busy and biased toward Chicago with the President and Mike Wilbon.

Our suggestions: Madonna, Lady GaGa, or Beyonce

Don’t know how these possible assignments would be taken by these ladies. Madonna spends most of her time in London and is something of a loose cannon. What could we expect if Mandingo were to visit her Central Park West apartment on the sly like A-Rod did? Perhaps she’s too dangerous. GaGa might appeal to LeBron’s sense of music production. Her videos are little movies and he’ll know every dance song at all the clubs. Beyonce would need permission from part Net owner Jay Z, but she’s got a fix for basketball if you factor in how many games she attends.

Donald Trump has been on my five most overrated list (with Rudy Guiliani, Oprah, American Idol, and Greg Schiano was just replaced by Catherine Zeta Jones on Broadway) for some time. He is a great promoter and LeBron ‘want him some of dat’. After observing Trump for a while, you also warm to him…he golfs, he has great women in his life, and he’s bounced back from financial ruin, etc. But to hang with Donald means you hang with Regis and you go to Mar-La-Mar in Palm Beach and you meet sheiks and rich people from all over the world. Maybe LeBron would think that to be cool. He might even hook up his mom with someone rather than Omar-strapped-on his cycle with loaded guns, but the Donald looks at them all as possible buyers and renters. In other words, Lebron, there’s not a lot of substance here.

Our suggestion: Steve Cohen

Steve Cohen is the CEO of the hedge fund called SAC, there may be many other “Steve Cohen’s” out there, that’s to say hedge fund leaders, not pages in a jewish phone book, but this guy will do. You see, LeBron, you meet a guy like Steve Cohen and you give him part of your $20+ million a year and watch it grow. I don’t see Donald Trump doing a building with you.

Alec Baldwin and Spike Lee are easy marks. You ask them, what can you do for me? Alec can’t do a thing, except maybe hang out with you, but who wants to hang with a fat, volatile, politically-over-the-top, reformed alcoholic? Nice eye-candy at a fashionable restaurant we guess, but you can do that on your own. Invite Pete Vecsey to dinner. Alec is a sports fan and he does have some interesting friends. But he’s a semi-hot actor, cast away from leading roles, barking about quitting ’60 Rock’ and one false step away from being a cold actor (again). Spike could put you in a movie. How about “LeBron Goin’ to Work”? He’ll also be there courtside to encourage you, but ask yourself why he was wearing a Laker hat last year and in the midst of the Lakers championship celebration? He’s a two-timer, LeBron. Don’t trust sluts like Spike. Next thing you know he’ll be drawing you into some AA cause.

Our suggestions: Russell Simmons, Robert DeNiro, Woody Allen, Al Pacino, Sean “Puffy” Combs

Pick any two. Russell Simmons would be a good source on several accounts. He’s smart and an entrepreneur. Someone you could throw your hat in with or look to for guidance. The hip-hop angle ain’t bad either, because, let’s face it, aside from shooting buckets, what do you like to do most? Puffy fills in here, too. Too bad Jay Z is off with the Nets, cuz he’d be in here and probably with Simmons and Combs at the top of your list. Robert DeNiro isn’t a sports guy, but imagine having Bob tell you about New York, filmmaking, art and introducing you to his friends. He’s also got a son who can sell you a luxury place and he’s partial to AA girls. Al Pacino likes sports but we don’t place him as a fixture at the Garden. But imagine him “taking a flamethrower to them” when LeBron is peeved at the refs. Now Woody Allen, is another matter. The ultimate Knick fan. He can make a film with you and play a little clumsy jazz for you on the Monday nights you have available. More importantly he can teach you the inner working of angst and neurosis that you might catch if your jumper doesn’t hit and you can’t move the team up. He’ll also be able to explain those little fellows that wear black suits and curly sideburns and fashion those skull caps. That, my friend might be the best advice and lessons about New York.

In Ann Arbor, they determined that the Wolverine football team had practiced too much and had too many assistants to spot during lifting sessions and fetch balls during drills. The thinking was that Michigan was gaining an advantage or overworking their student athletes. Thank goodness for the NCAA enforcers, says nobody but their on-field resenters and rivals.

While the NCAA took three years to look into the University of Southern California athletic program, O.J. Mayo recruited himself, had a “friend” nearby at all times that had special access to practices and needed tickets, and saw to Mayo’s out-of-the-gym lifestyle. Head coach Tim Floyd was forced to leave the program and Mayo spent a year before becoming a top NBA draft choice. Heisman winner Reggie Bush contributed to a national championship while allegedly having a “marketing agent” provide cars and other “support” while locating his parents in a sweet, rent-free house. Brian Cushing allegedly poked his skin with performance enhancers that went back as far as high school and continued in LA, and Pete Carroll jumped to the NFL this past off season after years of NFL job offer denials.

Now USC can’t play in the post season for two years, will lose something like 20 scholarships, will have to give back a national football title and maybe Bush’s Heisman. Probably harder to do than giving up Kim Kardashian.

Jim Calhoun’s UCONN basketball juggernaut was exposed as being out of his control. His buddy Jim Boeheim’s basketball program produces good teams on the floor, but apparently they don’t go to class. The NCAA is particularly good at exposing these kinds of flaws, and pointing to the the “clean” programs as good examples, but somehow those programs get left out of their 64+ team bonanza every March, while the Syracuse’s, UConn’s and USC’s prosper.

So it’s a good thing that will emerge from the new “Super Conference” alignment because these conferences will dictate how national champions are determined, how bowl money is distributed and who takes the cake when it comes to television contracts. All of the NCAA lawyers, investigators and bureaucrats in Indianapolis will be rendered obsolete and that’s a good thing.

Kay utilized his ESPN PR arsenal and had Winfield on his radio show as an ESPN-promoting guest, where the former six-team hall of famer came off as artriculate and lucid, prompting Kay to go into a complimentary spiel of how good Winfield is on radio as opposed to television where he then used Mushnick’s explanation word for word.

Mushnick’s mention in print launched Kay into a rant against Mushnick on his ESPN radio show and a challenge to match up Mushnick’s column with Kay’s broadcast. Mushnick consented and “wasted column space” (his words) on explaining the details for the first time publicly. Kay and his ESPN PR hackers, I mean, backers decided it wasn’t going to provide the tape, as promised, and dropped the matter. Win by TKO for Mushnick.

And so, we are afforded another glimpse into the ESPN media machine where anyone they put on camera is “an expert” and what they say is gospel. Which is why it’s humorous that NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers slammed Tony Kornheiser as being unprepared and Ron Jaworski as not knowing what he was talking about. Funny how a media writer can get pushed back upon by the ESPN PR machine, but a star Green Bay Packers quarterback can get away with his credibility while talking the truth. I guess there’s not much to be gained from taking on a professional whose integrity is a given.

Now, Kornheiser has since given up his Monday Night Football gig, although the availability of John Gruden probably had something to do with it. Not to mention that Kornheiser took a buyout from The Washington Post, and had taken a sabbatical from his local Washington D.C. radio show to only do ESPN’s “Pardon The Interruption,” and “MNF.” He seemed to go through a mid-life crisis, some minor health problems, creeping into old age, whining about things, telling us how early he went to bed and pretty much admitting that his heart wasn’t in it.

Kornheiser has become the arbiter of bland. Recently he told us how great the band “Sugarland” is, he’s kept us up on his thoughts about “American Idol,” and missed the Steven Strasburg debut because he had tickets to Carol King and James Taylor. Ho hum Tony. You are old.

What we get out of Kornheiser these days are inquisitive references to youthful trends and “urban speak,” stories about having dinner with with John “Junior” Feinstein, golf with Maryland basketball coach Gary Williams and trips to his beach house in Rehobeth Beach, Delaware. Very retiring. He no longer goes on the road, covers the games or talks with his cronies that include Mike Lupica, Mitch Album and Bob Ryan (unless he’s a subhost on PTI).

While Kornheiser’s “American Idol” is losing lots of steam with the public, so is PTI, as partner Michael Wilbon transitions from an elite African-American sportswriter with an impeccable resume, to a hanger-on to Charles Barkley, an invitee to Michael Jordan’s gambling and golf party on Paradise Island, a bi-coastal (Scottsdale, AZ) yuppie and a biased Chicago sports fan. Where once you could count on him for an objective and intelligent point of view, he has now reduced himself to wonder. Wondering how he can have an intelligent opinion if a Chicago team happens to factor in, which they do in every sport. Wilbon thinks he can beat this by admitting outright of his Windy City bias, but it became clear how much of a phony he is, when he talked about how big a Black Hawks fan he was as they approached the 2010 Stanley Cup, after having never mentioned them before.

Which brings us to ESPN’s ‘bosses of bias’ as LA’s Jim Rome blows with the wind with every Lakers win (“you guys are good, and Kobe is god”) or loss (“come on Phillip, change something up, the Lakers are dogs”) and Bill Simmons, the sports guy mayor of Boston. Aside from the referees, these two guys are the biggest annoyances of the 2010 NBA Finals and should have David Stern command a gag order and fine. Neither guy enlights. All we will get is how personal losing will be to them. At least they both have plenty of familiarity with that condition.

On May 23rd, New York Post writer Phil Mushnick, called out Kay in a discreet way for lifting from his column and using the information practically verbatim on his ESPN radio show and not attributing the source. This prompted Kay to launch into a five-minute, over-the-top, ignorant and vicious attack on Mushnick that uncovered Kay’s contention that “he has stuff on [Mushnick] you,” that Mushnick reports from his couch and only attacks “popular people.” He also offered that when Kay dies “more people are going to be sad than happy” but when [Mushnick] dies “more people are going to be happy.” Nice.

The group at Mushnick’s funeral would be led by Michael Kay, a sycophantic, brown-toothed, big-headed (a new teasing point by rotating broadcast partner Paul O’Neill) and overweight misogynist. Next in line would be Kay’s former broadcast partner John Sterling, facelift starved Suzyn Waldman and the whole crew from Bristol, CT. You can probably add Mike Francesa and his former partner Chris Russo, who has apparently fallen off the face of the earth, to that front row.

For a serial self-seeking, servile flatterer and fawning parasite like Kay, taking on one of the best sports media critics in the land marks his step up from a somewhat humble, ‘just delighted to be here doing my dreamjob,’ to “I’m Michael Kay, New York Yankees broadcaster. Soon Kay will be talking about his World Series ring.

To consider himself “popular” is just one of his troubling flaws. Kay was so not missed by viewers during a recent play-by-play stand-in by the YES Network’s studio host, Bob Lorenz. It was like Jim Leyland said of Ernie Harwell a few weeks ago, “he broadcast the game for both teams.” For a change of pace, listeners were treated to how a game should be called, without constant chatter and all the extemporaneous adlibs about how to manage a game, how close he is to players and Joe Girardi, how long the games are, false home run excitement on flies caught at the warning track, and how fawning he is to his broadcast partners by mining stories about their often not-interesting careers. I for one, didn’t miss his disparaging comments about the competition. According to Kay the Yanks would go 163-0 because everybody is their inferior.

Michael Kay’s popularity is dreived from a system where listeners would be there anyway. Ad salespeople could book the time with Joran Van Der Sloot making the calls. Arbitron or whatever measuring device the media buyers use, go by the numbers generated by the subject matter. Guys like Kay and Francesa take those numbers as tributes to themselves. The game or the time period locked in your car will always be the attraction, and whoever is talking is just what “they wrap the ads around” as they like to say on Madison Avenue.

So how entrenched and cocky has Michael Kay become. He has an agent and he’s being paid big money. His ESPN spot leverages his Yankees spot and you have to wonder how long he’d last if he didn’t do the Yanks. He has a limited schedule on YES which either suggests the Yankees are aware that their viewers need a break from him, or he’s gained the power to dictate. Suzyn Waldman represents the model for job security at Yankee Stadium having been involved in various broadcast capacities for over 20 years. Her novelty as a woman has considerable cache when overlooking her many foibles, as does that it is widely held that her selection as part of the Yankee broadcast team was directly due to George Steinbrenner. Kay has similar “homegrown” sentimentality from the Boss and the marketplace for play-by-play men isn’t as brimming as it is for ex-Yankees to rotate in as color men.

But how long will it be before the new regime of Steinbrenners and the cash demands of the Yankee money machine in the Bronx and at YES signify a change? Perhaps Kay will slip up with his penchant to drool over women like he does with his traffic reporters at ESPN and YES talents Kim Jones and Nancy Newman. Although he seems to have calmed down, there’s something about Kay’s 49-year old bachelorhood and his creepy interest and inquiries about the sex exploits of his zoo-like support crew at ESPN that smack of Mel Allen living with his mother all his life.

Last night’s 5-4 loss in Detroit was especially gruelling with Kay and Singleton gabbing away from Comerica Park. Ironically, it was on a night with a tribute to the late Ernie Harwell, that made listening to Kay doubly difficult. Jim Leyland said last week about Ernie, “he broadcast the game for both teams.” A truer statement couldn’t have been made. And all you need to do is listen to Kay blabber on, especially with his Yankees bias, to see the clear makings of a mediocre broadcaster.

Kay was complimentary of Ernie Harwell, but said nothing new about the 42-year Tiger broadcaster. No insights. He probably didn’t know him. Still it didn’t stop Kay, who waddles in on everything from Joe Girardi’s moves to how close he is to his broadcast partners. Kay offerred a pedestrian, “just a great broadcaster and and even greater man,” about Harwell. And so he blew hot air, much like he does every game. You can’t help but think that Kay would someday like a tribute like Harwell got. The first thing he’s going to have to do is improve. Right now Kay ranks behind Frank Messer as a Yank broadcast legend.

Kay loves to tell the story of his dream job. How he grew up in the Bronx, loving the Yankees, getting a job as a Yankee beat writer, which he converted into his current job. The sad part is that he’s not without skills. He’s a good interviewer and he worked his way to broadcast quality. There’s something squirrelly about his relationship with women as heard every time he talks to Kim Jones or Nancy Newman or Christina Lang, the traffic woman on his ESPN radio show.

Whomever makes the broadcast decisions for the Yankees, they follow George Steinbrenner’s rules, who used to bless the placements before his health began to fail. Which, by the way, is the answer to the question: “why is Susyn Waldman a Yankee broadcaster?” You must be a Yankee fan first. You can’t be too critical of a Yankee and you promote the Yanks no matter what. Makes for good marketing, but horrible broadcasting. Kay follows the rules to a tee.

Last night, Kay spent far too long talking to Jones as a sideline in-game reporter which shed very little light on the status of the Yanks, not to mention material that could have easily been discussed before or after the game in one of the YES’s too many wrap-around shows. Or perhaps, some of the questions could have been reserved for Jones’ let-her-ask-all-the-questions-she-wants-to-Girardi-in-a-row,-afterall,-it-is our-show, while the beat reporters wait their turn and their deadlines grow thinner. For what seemed to be about five minutes, Jones and Kay went on. The game did too, and the viewer was left with a host of nameless batters, pitches and undescribed outs.

It was only a matter of time before Kay expounded on the swap of outfielders between Detroit and New York, where, in separate deals, Johnny Damon took over left for the Tigers and Marcus Thames went to left for the Yanks, while rookie Austin Jackson switched centerfield with Curtis Granderson. Throw in starter Max Scherzer, Phil Coke and Damiel Schlereth to the Tigers in the actual trade and Ian Kennedy’s 2-2 record and 3.48 ERA as a regular starter in Arizona and you can get a feel for the balance of the trade. Granderson is hurt and may not return to form until All Star break, while Jackson leads the majors in hits, the AL in hitting, and at 23, is cheaper than Granderson and plays centerfield much better. Leave it to Kay to implore that more time is needed to evaluate the value of the moves, while throwing in his Bronx unqualified source’s jeers about Austin Jackson, that included a proclivity to strike out and lack of power. Let’s just say Ernie Harwell would never have gone there.

Wilbon is a Chicago guy, Northwestern educated, quick to connect to his roots in the hood, although he lives as white as a Mother’s Day lily in affluent homes in suburban Washington D.C. and Scottsdale, Arizona. He golfs and belongs to country clubs in both places and seems to play in foursomes only with guys he can namedrop: Gary Williams, John Feinstein, Eddie Jordan, Kornheiser, etc. He co-authored a mediocre book with Charles Barkley, that has befriended him to the point of bias toward the round one, and constantly mentions his social circle which includes Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and any other African American celebrity he has used his cache as maybe (along with Jason Whitlock), the top African American sportswriter, to cozy up to. His stock rose when Stephen A. Smith was kicked to the curb, but they replaced a guy with an edge with a guy that goes over the line to be friendly with those he has to cover.

Wilbon has leveraged his minority fame into a bullet-proof area of non-criticism. Although he doesn’t speak before he thinks, like his PTI partner, which has resulted in Kornheiser being sanctioned, fired and suspended, he’s probably the most Chicago-biased sports voice, who at the same time maintains a position as an elite national spokesman. ESPN and PTI may have caught lightning in a bottle by the pairing of the contrasting loud-mouth Jewish boy from Long Island to the Windy City black. Wilbon also may have polished his broadcasting skills, but his reason for being there is that he’s a well-spoken minority with a print background, which apparently is the only option to Syracuse-trained talking heads or ex-jocks.

As a Chicago guy you would think he would have heard of Chicago sportwriting legend’s Jerome Holtzman’s book “No Cheering in The Press Box.” Wilbon goes exactly the other way, after expounding intelligently on one national topic, anything with a tinge of Chicago gets his complete diehard fan treatment. According to Wilbon, the Cubs are winners. The Bears should have drafted Rhodes Scholar Myron Rollle, the Bulls are right there to compete again for an NBA title if they can draft and sign some great players and straighten out that front office. Bears defensive coordinator Rod Marinelli and offensive coordinator Mike Martz are just the antidote for the Monsters run to a Super Bowl, even though they failed miserably together in Detroit. And although he picked the Red Wings to win its series (and the Cup) from San Jose he admitted that he’s secretly rooting for the Wings to lose because he’s “paranoid” about his Black Hawks having to play them.

Which brings us to the single most aberration of the Wilbon psyche. Something good editors and producers ignore, and a glaring gaff to what else could be referred to as a flawed element to Wilbon’s objective point of view. His hate for anything Michigan.

Apparently, growing up in Chicago he resented all Detroit teams as well as Michigan and Michigan State. It’s hard to fathom, since the Bulls handled the Pistons pretty well, although the Pistons did give Jordan fits in his learning years. The Cubs and White Sox have a recent World Series appearance between them, as Detroit has 2004, 1984 and 1968 in Wilbie’s lifetime. The Bears have pretty much handled the Lions, so it must boil down to Northwestern’s getting their heads kicked in constantly in just about everything by Michigan and Michigan State. Oh well Mike, there is the women’s lacrosse team.

Michael Wilbon did say something indirectly nice about Ernie Harwell’s passing this week. Talking about riding in his car with his dad and listening to the radio calls of all the great announcers of his childhood. He probably didn’t have anything nicer to say, after all Ernie was “the voice of Michigan,” and if Wilbon was in Detroit, he was probably hanging with his homies.