July 27, 2010 – Well, they could be rootin’ for the Cubs. Detroit Tiger fans are following the 2010 AL Central division race like zombies stumbling toward certain destruction. It wasn’t enough to lose the division in a 163rd game last year. Or to lose a multi-game lead by swooning in September. Or for Brandon Inge to have his shirt brushed by a pitch that the umpire missed. It hasn’t been enough to lose Ernie Harwell. Or to have Joel Zumaya break his elbow by throwing a baseball 98 miles an hour. Now, Brandon Inge gets hit by a wild pitch and is likely gone for the year with Zumaya. Magglio Ordonez breaks his ankle sliding into home and Carlos Guillen goes back on the DL on the same day.

Umpire Jim Joyce should have been a precursor. Or Johnny Damon standing at the plate, bases loaded, looking at ball four to tie, only to be rung up. “I might have missed that one,” said ump Gary Cederstrom afterward. Is it something about the town? Are the uniforms attracting the short end of every stick? Do they have something against olde English script?

Last night Matt Garza threw a gem against the depleted Tigers. We should have seen it coming. B.J. Upton takes off from first. Tiger catcher Gerald Laird throws him out. Umpire Marty Foster calls him safe. Jim Leyland comes out hot to argue. Spittle ensues. Good bye, Leyland. Unlike Jim Joyce, there are no apologies from Foster. He was just wrong in front of millions of viewers. He hides in the umpire’s room. He’s “only human” as Bud Selig would surely say, even though my dog could have made this call.

Marty Foster is more concerned with some spit that may have flown out of Leyland. Not spit, ptuie, but rabid free form saliva that comes flying out of one’s mouth when they are emoting. Don’t put Marty Foster in the front row at any Broadway play. This was just incidental spittle that comes out when you are vehemently arguing about a totally blown call and being screwed. Marty Foster blew the call and tried the deception play. ‘It’s not about me blowing an easy call, it’s about him spitting.’ These guys don’t have to take that. Or arguing with bad balls and strike calls. The Tigers should preach “bring on Questec. Bring in the lasers. Bring on sensors in gloves, shoes, balls and bases.” The hardest thing to put up with is how indignant the umps are when they blow them.

So both Garza and Tiger starter Max Scherzer got into the sixth with no-nos. The stars started lining up when Scherzer loaded the bases. He managed two outs when Matt Joyce (no relation to Jim) stepped up to hit. It was fitting, because Matt Joyce was once a Tiger. Traded to his hometown Tampa for Edwin Jackson, who went to Arizona this past winter for Scherzer (among others). Matt Joyce has struggled to meet his promise for the Rays. Scherzer worked him to a full count with two outs, bases full. Should have been a bit of a signal Max, when Joyce lined one foul that would have likely drove in two or three. On the next pitch, Tampa 4, Tigers 0. The Matt Joyce trade was instantly redeemed with one swing.

Garza cleaned it up. Marty Foster continued to be a bad umpire. Jim Leyland probably was smoking in the clubhouse. And the Tigers fell to three games back of the White Sox.