June 30, 2010 –

“Oh, oh here she comes. Watch out boy, she’ll eat you up. Oh, oh here she comes, she’s a maneater…”

-Hall and Oates

By Norman Rey

I was going to pass. It seems every time she puts down ink, I have something to say. Perhaps I am developing the same type of bias she’s afflicted with? So I counted to ten and wondered what it is about Selena Roberts that pushes my buttons. And what is it with all the different publicity pictures? It tells me she’s harboring something insecure about her looks. Maybe it’s as simple as not being asked to the prom or being hit with the ugly stick.

It started when she jumped in the backseat with Durham, NC DA Mike Nilfong and a lying alleged whore by the name of Crystal Gail Mangum. Selena Roberts was with the New York Times then and led the way with how privileged lacrosse players were, how Colin Finnerty, Reade Seligman and David Evans, Duke University lacrosse players, were alleged rapists and, in general, how men are pigs. According to Roberts, the Duke boys were like “gang members and career criminals.” Of course, Nilfong was disbarred, Mangum continued her life of petty crime and the three players were found innocent. Roberts never apologized, although her invective contributed to the dismissal of Duke head coach Mike Pressler, the embarrassment of Duke president Richard Brodhead, the cancellation of the 2006 Duke lacrosse season, the stigma attached to the three accused, the departure of several players from the program, embarrasssment to Mike Krzyzewski for bailing out, and continued on this year when Duke won the NCAA lacrosse title with 17 seniors granted extra eligibility by the NCAA as a make up call.

My non admiration for Roberts as a reporter continued when she trespassed into Alex Rodriguez’s gated community and stalked him with a grand stand confrontation about how she had the goods on him about steroids. Her source was the material leaked by someone in the California court system, which to anyone other than a reporter armed with first amendment protection, would have been illegal. This of course, led to the A-Rod affair where he confronted the media, admitted PED usage (“unknowingly”) and caused the guy to fall from his pedestol where he’s paid $25 million a year to play baseball. She’s a maneater.

This past week in Sports Illustrated, her current place of residence, she got two pieces in the book. Must have been vacation week. The first was a feature on Pete Carroll, now in Seattle as head of the Seahawks. The second her semi-regular, “Point After” back-of-the-book essay, complete with ever-changing picture, which is apparently SI’s regular attempt at trying to put lipstick on a….you get what I mean.

For Carroll, she held back. It was a perfect target…golden boy, California sun football coach with two national titles, PAC 10 titles and a who’s who list of star players. Recently, USC got hamered by the NCAA for violations during Carroll’s term. Roberts probably took the story thinking it was easy pickins for her paunchy pounce, but she walked away charmed by the mesmerizing Carroll. The NCAA punished USC’s football team harshly, just months after Carroll, who had turned down yearly attempts by the NFL, took the head coaching job of the Seahawks. The Trojans are appealing a two-year ban on postseason games, the loss of 30 scholarships and the rescinding of 14 wins in 2004 and 2005. Roberts exercised the laziest of reporting to use her allotted words to quote everything Carroll had to say in his defense. “I never, ever thought it would come to this,” Carroll said.

Apparently, Carroll never thought much of what star running back and future Heisman winner Reggie Bush was driving, where he was living or who he was hanging with. Apparently, Carroll is not “hooked up” to insider info in his lockerroom or maybe he would have heard something about some marketing guy providing Bush’s parents with a rent-free house. Although it has nothing to do with the NCAA infractions, he didn’t see anything wrong with Brian Cushing’s training methods or buffness.

Because she wasn’t handed anything investigative, and her skills as a reporter only allow her short periods with her subjects, Selena Roberts couldn’t hatchet this one up, so she chose to write something about a sunshine boy who has moved on to the pros. We needed her back-of-the-book story to get the real her.

If she were man, and her consistent railing were against women, she would be termed a misogynist. Funny, that according to the digital dictionary I quickly consulted, there isn’t a common word for women who hate men. One attempt was “feminist” but I don’t think someone who is concerned with feminine issues necessarily hates men. The best academic application was the noun “misandry” (hatred of men) but I’ve never heard or seen this word used commonly in the mainstream. Where have the word people been for thousands of years and not have developed a word for “manhater?” Is Selena Roberts a “misandrist?” Try looking that one up. Even Google grabs his nads when that word is typed in.

So Selena finishes up the June 26th issue of SI with her opinions on who is “Good Enough To be Great?” In her opinion, Tiger Woods is not deserving of surpassing Jack Nicklaus and Barry Bonds (I guess A-Rod wasn’t convenient) isn’t worthy of lording over Hank Aaron. Now, I guess Selena’s reasoning with Tiger is that men that stray aren’t deserving of honor. I guess that kicks out Martin Luther King, John Kennedy and several thousand others (including women) throughout history. I for one, feel better that Selena Roberts is the arbiter recognizing such faults in men. Maybe she could compile a book about it, something like the A-Rod book, print 150,000 and sell less than 10,000.

Her position on Bonds, although contrived, tired, overdone and well on the books by just about every other writer with an opinion, begs the question, “why this subject, now?” We all know Bonds was a user and that his stats were effected. Apparently, that’s not enough for Selena the misandrist. She needs to lock down the tarnished, remind us to punish and hate and make certain these guys never make us smile. Kind of like her pictures.