May 28, 2010 – Two Texans will dominate the news in your future. Both have to do with performance enhancing drugs and the hubris of being placed on a pedestal for most of their lives. The only new information that will emerge is about the technology athletes go through to mask PEDs and how backward the detectors are to uncover them.

Roger Clemens, who has gone underground in Texas since his tour of Washington D. C., when he tried to shake hands and autograph his way out of former friend Brian McNamee’s charges that he used steroids, will re-emerge after a grand jury concludes that he lied. His smarmy Texas lawyer Rusty Hardin will get another chance to embarass himself and Roger will destroy any chance he has at redemption and the Hall of Fame, which he allegedly doesn’t care about.

Roger is keeping to his story. Despite the evidence, despite sworn testimony, he believes that bull-dogging the belief in his head will beat his judgers to submission, like his fastball used to do to batters. Roger is not destined for jail, but to become a minor mention on hunting trips with his famed friends like George W. Bush. If Roger is willing to ride off into the sunset and not care what people think about his legacy, he’ll return to a good life spending his millions made as an enhanced pitcher and waving at a small pocket of adoring Texas friends, while the vast majority marks him down in history as a cheater and a liar.

Lance Armstrong will ride his bike in the lead-up races to this year’s Tour de France and command some attention at the actual event which begins on July 3rd. The 38-year old Armstrong will dominate the media for a stage or two as they unrealistically dream of an record 8th win for the Texan. What will happen is that Lance will be scrutinized more than ever about his doping. As if having the French on his case for 22 days isn’t enough, he now has ambush artist, Selena Roberts of Sports Illustrated, toying with his legacy.

Unlike throwing a flat fastball, you can ride a bike for a long time, so pedaling off into the sunset doesn’t work for Lance. He craves the attention and when he gets it, which is often, it’s good for his foundation that makes him millions AND helps fight cancer. You’d think a guy who overcame all those needles to beat cancer would shy away from doping tests, but Lance’s veins haven’t collapsed like a lot of his ill bretheran, and he continues to pridefully defend himself and march on. His detractors haven’t been able to nail him based on blood and urine samples taken after races, so now they are rolling in the feds who are hunting for evidence that he may have committed a federal crime by defrauding the United States Postal System, who may have given him money to buy anti-doping agents.

This development has Pulitzer posers like Selena Roberts salivating to uncover information turned up by the “relentless federal government agents.” The same guys that have taken two years to determine if Roger Clemens lied or had a clue about whether British Petroleum was playing by the rules.